stressed but blessed

Sojourner's Highlight: Research and rethink to avoid returning important purchases (ex camera)

To add to my last post:

I undid what I did, that is, I decided to unmake the decision that I didn't really make when I bought both an SLR and a compact camera. I took them both back. I'm going to buy the same Nikon from a site called digicombo.com - sounds sketchy, I know - because it comes with way more stuff for the same price. I might just hold off on a compact to save that bit of extra dough. Or I might go down and buy a waterproof one, which would be even more expensive. See, the new Olympos is waterproof up to 30 feet and shockproof up to five!!!!! How can one resist? (Again, not getting paid for product placement, but if anybody wants to pay me for some, I can use every dollar...)

Despite my self-indoctrination in karmic financial philosophy, I have definitely been getting more and more stressed about money concerns, and the big camera bill jumped my stress levels even higher.

For years now I've tried to be independent in terms of financing my life (besides not paying rent... and not paying for food...ah hem), but I may have to accept a bit of generosity from my extremely devoted parents. The good news is that I'll have great camping gear, great camera gear, a laptop, and some nice clothes, which will just have to last me the next 5 years because I'll have no savings, no investments, and probably just enough income to survive:)

Some other things that aren't all peachy in J-Spot prepland:

First, I tried Chapter One in the language textbook sent to us from the JET Programme. I've been working through another language book a little bit, and somewhat enjoying it, so I thought I'd try the JET book as well.
After five minutes, I slammed the book down in frustration and stormed out of my room thinking that I'll never learn a word of Japanese. The accompanying CD has people speaking Japanese, and you're supposed to fill in the blanks, pretty simple, you know. But I couldn't catch a single word, let alone fill in any blanks.

I've also started stressing about how little time I have left, for several reasons.
Most importantly, I won't get to see all the friends/family/random people I wanted to visit with before I go, because some aren't even in the city.

Randomly, I won't get to participate in my roller hockey play-off finals because they occur the week I leave.

I'm stressed because I still have stuff I want to buy, for my Juan de Fuca trip in three days, as well as for Japan. AND I am having trouble dealing with my car, which I've tried selling and giving away.

I've started (probably prematurely)stressing about how little baggage we can take on the plane, and just what exactly I will take with me.

Most generally, I can't believe I am leaving Vancouver when it is so incredibly beautiful, day after day after day. The people, the landscape, the cityscape: it all shines with vibrant beauty and glows with youthful exuberence. I love Vancouver in the summer - it's the reward for surviving the TEN dreary rain-filled months.

On a more positive note:
Another thing I wanted to expand on from my last post: my rent. I'm not sure I conveyed just how excited I am to be renting an apartment in Sapporo, Japan, for the more than reasonable price of $300. Even if it did turn out to be a 5 feet by 5 feet cubby hole, I wouldn't care! I need to say (and remind myself) how fortunate I am to have this opportunity. I am very grateful for the JET programme (flying me to Japan), and to the Sapporo Board of Education (helping to pay for me to LIVE in Japan). I'm not trying to score brownie points with these organisations, because I doubt they'll ever read this blog. Like I said, though, I feel like life and the world are treating me very well right now; I simply don't want to take it for granted. Even having parents kind enough and able to help me out is certainly a cause for great appreciation.

I'm agnostic at best, so I have no deity to whom I should send my praise. Maybe my karmic autoindoctrination is paying off, because I want to send a big "Thanks!" out into the world in general.