sheep and technology

I feel like a sheep.

I have been surrounded by fellow english-speaking teachers like myself, from around the world, since I got to Japan - most of whom, it seems, have far greater Japanese speaking and reading abilities than myself. The result is that I have been doing a lot of following, sitting in the back of the group, being a sheep. Whenever any new situation comes up, or anything moderately complicated needs doing, I have to let someone else do all the work for me. This has included early transportation and exploration of Sapporo, applying for our Alien Cards, reading mail (for bills), getting a bank account, ordering food at restaurants and, today, ordering the internet online, as well as pretty much everything else. Not to mention the fact that my apartment, my job, and my entire life for the next year have been planned by somebody else, down to the very route I will take twice a day, every day of the work week.

Now, I`m not exactly complaining. I simply could not have done a lot of this stuff without others there to help or, basically, to do it for me. And I shouldn`t be too mad that I know less Japanese than others who have studied it, been here before, or who have lived here for 5 years now (or 25) and speak it fluently.

Yet I do tire of being a sheep. I almost want to distance myself from the group because I feel like I have no power or independence in the constant herd of us moving around town. Plus, having everything done for me and following other people around means I learn nothing, or at least, I learn a lot more slowly than I would on my own. If I were here on my own, or stationed in a small town, every step of getting my life set up would be in my own hands. I would have to learn the words I need to get by, instead of just hearing someone else use them.

On the plus side, to switch out of the negative tone, having competent Japanese speakers around meant that I could order the internet today, and I should be hooked up in my home in two to three weeks.

Along those lines, I was plugging in all of my rechargeables yesternight, and I suddenly realised the extent of my personal technological acquisition and transformation. Whereas a month ago I had nothing battery powered, I now have:
1. an intense digital camera (which has received many an `ooh` and many an `aah`);
2. a laptop (which has many AWESOME photos waiting to be uploadeded, and should be useful once my apartment is wired up);
3. an iPod shuffle (which rocks and, by the way, makes an awesome necktie pin);
4. and a hot cell phone.

The cell phone in particular is a big change for me, as I have essentially boycotted them for the last 4 years. See, I have mixed feelings toward ipods and cell phones, because it seems people are constantly running away from the moment, constantly disconnected from their immediate surroundings. People with plugs in their ears are generally less approachable than those without, and ignore the world passing by; people txt msging and chatting on their phones aren`t really focusing on the friends that currently surround them. I have already caught myself writing emails and messages on my cell, losing track of what`s going on around me, which seems disrespectful as well as... I don`t know, it`s just not very harmonious, not very zen!

Woops, hopefully you just slipped over that diatribe rather than feel any of the venom was directed toward you. After all, contrary to what I just said, the cell phone has allowed me a facile connectivity and spontaneity severely lacking in my personality, even in the first week I`ve had it. And listening to music when you enjoy a jog, or some beautiful scenery flowing by on your commute, can actually offer a heightened experience, often hard to attain in the silence or stifling thoughts of my mind.

So, yeah, I have mixed feelings about it all. Except my camera.
That I just love!

I have so much to say but this post is already long and rambling. I haven`t even mentioned the crazy sudden shift from deathly hot and humid to misty and chilly. Two days ago, the heat was painful; that night, the heat wave clung to life, sweltering until four in the morning before suddenly and noticeably succumbing to the cool winds of a new weather system moving in from the mountains. Interestingly - unfortunately - the heat is due to return in a day or two.

I also didn`t mention working with some more Japanese students yesterday, nor attending the Obon Lantern Festival in Nakagima-koen (a beautiful park downtown). I only felt a little out of place as I followed the line of locals, released a floating candle down a gentle stream, then folded my hands and contemplated my ancestors. I mean, I thought about thinking about them, anyway. The chanting of the monks at the beginning of the ceremony was beautiful, despite the incongrous hum of the portable gas generators; the lamps flowing in a line down the stream were majestic, despite the metallic sheen off the industrial scaffolding that formed the ceremonial bridge. Truly, despite my unnecessarily pointing out these contrasting juxtapositions, it was beautiful.

And there`s much else yet unmentioned!

I`m alive!!

I feel distanced and disconnected.

I haven`t had a chance to send emails or check my facebook or write in my blog or talk to my family and friends in about a week, and I`m starting to freak out!

So far I`ve been okay, but the lack of connectivity is wearing on me. I could go to a internet cafe (they`re very nice, with comfy chairs, tons of snacks, sometimes even the possibility of staying all night and having a shower) but I`ve been counting on being able to use the internet at work. However, today, my first day at the office, I can`t figure out how to connect my computer to the wireless network here, so I can`t put up the posts and pictures that I have on my personal laptop. I`m using one of their laptops, with a slightly different keyboard and none of the materials I want to work with. It will probably be a few weeks, maybe a month at the outside, before I actually have internet in my home.

So, as a short update, I`m alive. In fact, everything has been going quite well. We haven`t done any real work yet, and we haven`t been spending much time with Japanese people, mostly just with fellow JETs. We hiked up a local mountain/hill yesterday and got an awesome view of the city and the surrounding mountains. I have been quite fine so far, living on my own for the first time, but I think that I will start to feel lonely and disconnected if I can`t pretend to talk to people online in the comfort of my home.

Hopefully I`ll figure out how to hook up my laptop, so I can show off all the fun I`ve been having so far!

reflections on a life left behind

Sojourner's Highlight: Plan an adventure and live as if stalked by death (and I mean that in a good way)

I sit cross-legged on the bed in my room on the 15^th of 50 some-odd floors that make up the 5-star Keio Plaza Hotel, downtown Tokyo, Japan. I enjoy the air-conditioning, and reflect.

The month before leaving was an incredible time for me. Knowing about my upcoming trip gave me endless energy and enthusiasm to enjoy life to its fullest. It was kinda like knowing you’re going to die, so you live every day like it’s yours last, but far less moribund. You know: carpe diem versus memento mori, the same but different, six of one, half a dozen of the other, you say potato, I say apple of the earth.

Anywho. Every day was awesome. I saw more people than I would ever normally see, and I enjoyed my time with them even more than normal because I had so much energy to put into it, and I was determined to absorb their presence as much as possible, every minute I had left with them.

I did more activities than I would ever normally do. The Juan de Fuca Marine Trail was the most challenging and out-of-the-box of them all. But other opportunities that I would normally turn down or pass up for later, I eagerly accepted. Dinners, parties, going out on the town, seeing movies, going hiking, going shopping, seeing the fireworks.

Of course, this hedonism entailed much increased expenditure of income that was no longer in-coming, and was enabled by my recently dis-employed status. The fact that I was determined to have only a certain amount to bring to the J-spot with me, and that I simply accepted the necessity of spending on new clothes, equipment, etc, meant that I splurged like never before. My camera alone is an expensive expense I would not otherwise have considered, were it not for the exotic, exciting, eye-opening nature of my then impending trip to and life in Japan.

Just like the Juan de Fuca trip, I can’t convey what it felt like to live through the experience of life up to my leaving. I had confidence and energy like never before, was less reserved, less hesitant, less miserly and less miserable than ever before, and appreciated my life and the people around me in a way I hadn’t felt before.

This past little while, life has been awesome.

The trick will be to maintain that energy, confidence, and willingness now that my departure has occurred, and my ultimate destination for the next year, Sapporo, has almost been reached.